If you have a LA Clippers fan friend or family member, ruin their day by buying these.
It's no secret that the Los Angeles Clippers are among the most exciting teams in the entire NBA. I mean, you got Chris Paul, Blake Griffin, Jamal "Crossover" Crawford, the ghost of Donald Sterling...
Man, that guy is a terrible person.
You know what else is terrible? This kind of junk that the NBA (commissioner Adam Silver and his cohorts) and the Los Angeles Clippers actually authorized to be sold in the name of the lovable Clips. Seriously, if you waste your money on these, you're actually a Clippers super-fan or someone who needs to never touch money in your life again.
Well, let's just begin.
1. Blake Griffin LEGO Rip-off
Can this thing even be called Blake Griffin? It is so horrifically ugly. Think about it—some guy or lady made a mock-up of this thing in, like, Maya or some other 3-D software, and then they presented it to a board of people, and the board of people made a vote to actually sell these things on shelves at Toyrs 'R Us or something. Ugh.
2. Lil' Teammates Figure
Maybe you remember from our 6 Worst (and Funniest) Los Angeles Lakers Products You Can Actually Buy article that there's also a Lakers version of this monstrosity. There's something so wrong about a generic, sort-of-angry-sort-of-consptipated figure.
3. Catholic Rosary
"Dear God? It's me, Margaret. Can Steph Curry go 0/11 on 3's against the Clips today? Amen."
Nothing says "die-hard Clippers fan" more than a Los Angeles Clippers pill box. We really want to be at Grandpa's 92nd birthday celebration when grandson Tyler brings this monstrosity to him. "No, grandpa, you will NEVER forget your Monday Xanax when you're thinking of Blake doing a 360-dunk in Draymond's face with THIS bad boy."
Why? Why would they ever make this? Why would anyone ever buy this? Why? Would this be OSHA-approved? Is it for some sort of ironic Clippers construction worker Halloween costume? ...Why?